!!! lol! wow oh man that is a great hat! ha! oh hai! you are so cool! yeah!

April 1, 2010 at 3:52 pm
filed under blog, rant
Tagged , , ,

listen to me closely fuckers. stop STOP using exclamation points all the gd time. why do you do this? the prolific exclamation point is a new annoyance i have with the world.
it is right up there with the unfortunately implicated “like” “um” and of course arbitrary capitalization. also up there are burial of bodies, worship of historical icons, prayer, FNC (not to be confused with FNL) and aversion to dense urban environments, but this exclamation issue is hot on the scene.

really though its endemic to only certain spheres. facebook? guilty as all hell. cell phone commercials depicting teenagers texting? guilty as all hell. the band !!! ? guilty as all hell, but they can move your femurs so automatic exception.

im not trying to be difficult. in fact if you want to keep exuding a fake veneer of cheeriness using a flimsy and shallow prop, and at the same time devalue an important component to the punctuation team, fine. but here is the recourse.

me, i, and myself, think you are fucking stupid. yes. this is the immediate reaction i get when i see rampant exclamations in one sentence. how could you not?

let me use the classic literature example in order to illustrate this point. boy claims wolf is present. people believe him. boy is asshole and lied about it. people pissed. forgive. rinse and repeat. people stop believing boy. transpose this succinct example on my aggravation. people see exclamation. think you are screaming or excited. about an orange. you arent. fake enthusiasm. people let down by your show of interaction. forgive. rinse and repeat. people stop believing your sincerity. perfect fit. not really. close enough.

i find it ironic that people feel the need to tell me to capitalize my writing (function-less bullshit) while they throw excla bombs all over what is supposed to convey INTERMITTENT bursts of frenetic occurrence. try using INFLECTION instead of like when you talk, try using TONE instead of exclamation points when you write, and try to SPRINT when you see me because im a MONSTER that is on to you.

i

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  1. zahir

    on April 2, 2010 at 2:06 am

    fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. The Baron

    on April 2, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    Um, like, CHILL yo!! Aren’t there children in need of being yelled at to get off your lawn?

  3. toublewithak

    on April 5, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    !Lolz! UR sooo cr8zy samir!!! btw, you rock!!! Wooo!

  4. jen

    on April 7, 2010 at 12:24 am

    Wow. This controversial post has garnered much attention and many comments. I would like to say two things:

    1) Noticing people misuse punctuation is, like, soooo 2009, man.
    2) What if you’re genuinely excited? For example, when I talk about rhododendrons. RHODODENDRONS!!!! That was as sincere as it gets.

  5. yasmin

    on April 12, 2010 at 8:05 am

    boy do i love my brother. keep it crazy dinker.

  6. yasmin

    on April 12, 2010 at 8:07 am

    nice picture. it’s my favorite orchid in the gardens and i always look for it. i had to hold back on the exclamation point there. one of my patients had that very same pattern on the orchid in their room this weekend.